Pause my mind

I am tired of thinking...good thoughts bad thoughts....need to tame my mind......Have this feeling since my childhood but was not able to succeed....still trying hard ....

I want to blank out my mind erase out all thoughts ...memories.....and want to recreate everything afresh....except for him...he is one of the best memories which i still have and those 4 years at college with him....I want to erase the part where my family resides....

If i could i would try to fix my childhood..those old days which were pathetic for me....But those days have given me experience .....good observation ...

I went to a temple in usa...place was crowded with lot of people ...they were trying to resemble someone which they were not.....I think i witnessed one basic nature of human...

I am still in dilemma that whether i should opt for India and go back now or extend my stay here....staying here would be very chalenging for me from his perspective .....

but going back is also not a good option.....i have to change the job and life would be hectic...but i will be with my love...resting in his arms....

missing her

I attended a party today.Not good at parties but still attended ...
I don't know why i miss her so badly ...whenever i feel down i just remember her name...i wish she would be there for me, she would be there to listen to me, hug me and treat me like a little baby. i wish God would have given both of us some more time together....
life would have been so better with her...i wouldn't have to take those extreme steps in my life....how strong i try to remove those painful memories they are still there in my life ...still bothering me of everything....